Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy 1st Heavenly Birthday Lucas!

Happy Birthday my sweet boy, your Sissy's sent up your cupcakes and we decorated your balloons.

The day didn't go as I had envisioned, it was freezing and the wind had gusts up to 40mph, but really how should a day like this go anyway.

I am very thankful however that we got to be together as a family here on earth as we celebrated and remembered you.

Your birthday announcement came the week prior. I opened it and there your name was with so many others and I cried. I cried like I hadn't in so many months, like I did in those first days and weeks. It reminded me of how real this all was and all still is.

There is a place for you here, in so many of our hearts.

I am so thankful to all of you who joined in a Random Act of Kindness in Lucas honor and thank you to all who took the extra time to share with us in your gift.

  • Countless homeless received breakfast and coffee
  • Unsuspecting families had their meals paid for in the drive thru with a note attached
  • Others had meals bought and delivered to their homes
  • Many desserts and pastries were made and given joyfully
  • Complete strangers learned of your little life and took a moment to say how moved they were by your story
  • Toys were donated to children @ a learning center
  • Some even gave the gift of forgiveness
  • A donation was made in your honor to our favorite of places, Sequoias National Park, the place we spread your ashes
  • A star was named after you as well
My mom shared with me the story of her day on May 25th, she awoke with you in mind Lucas and prayed that God would show her who needed to receive the act of kindness. As she sat at a red light, she noticed the car in front of her had this as their license plate. Thank you Mom for chasing the car down to get a pic.

Monday, May 14, 2012

You're Invited

Oh how I wish I was mailing out invitations. Invitations to a birthday I had planned for months. What kind of cupcakes, what would the theme be, imagining that smashed birthday cake picture, with frosting all over his face and a big 4 tooth grin behind it.

It is still a moment to celebrate, a day to remember, just in such a different way.

Would you help me that day, May 25th? Help us remember our Lucas? Help us bring a smile to this Earth?

I saw this idea about 6 months ago and wanted to use it. Along with eating Lucas' favorites.. Double Doubles at In-n-out of course.. I want to do a Random Act of Kindness. Spread a little joy, ya know?

Buy the person behind you their coffee at Starbucks, load someones groceries into their trunk, mow your neighbors lawn, what ideas do you have??

You could even print & attach this adorable little card, you know I will.

In memory of our Lucas Michael, would you send me a little note if you decide to participate? A quick email telling me of your super kind act? I'd love to write it down in his journal, all this world did to remember him and pass on a smile.

Thank you for loving us and our sweet son so much.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

It's May

It hurts that the Calendar even says that.. May

I find myself replaying the days leading up to Lucas' death and birth

The pain I felt when he flipped in my belly.. Looking back I wonder 'was that it, did his heart stop then?'

I can still feel the warmth of the sun as I drank my coffee and watched the girls play in the sand. Come on Lucas, move..  please move

We sat in silence as we drove to the hospital. Quieted by the fear of what we were about to find out

It all spirals from there, memories too painful to dwell on. Such emotions wrapped with physical pain burned every detail into my brain. The colors, the sounds, the smells, all there like it was yesterday.

It's May

We couldn't even bring ourselves to turn the calendar to this month. It sat there for days left on April like we weren't ready. We would flip ahead to see a date or a bill then turn it back. I still don't know if I'm ready.. but here we are.

May 25th.. Would you please pray when you think of us